Breaking the Habit: a Song Fic
by Ruby Raze
Summary: rated r to be safe. story is going to be song fic based that is IF i sontinue w/ it. Kago leaves, Inu is depressed, someone dies, someone else runs away!


Disclaimer: I don't own them so leave me alone. -_-  
  
A/n- I was getting dressed for work singing along to this song and I just got sudden inspiration!! ^_^ hope ya enjoy!  
  
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The Shikon no Tama had been completed for a month, and since then not much had changed, if you over look the fact that Kagome wasn't around as much. Inuyasha, and Kagome fought, Miroku groped, and Sango beat up Miroku. The only difference was that Inuyasha had come to realize his feelings for Kagome, but just couldn't bring himself to tell her.  
  
With each passing day he became more and more cruel towards Kagome, until about a year later she left, and sealed the well behind her. Or at least that's what they thought. In all actuality, she'd been trying to come back, but the well wouldn't let her.  
  
~*~  
That fateful day!  
~*~  
  
Inuyasha had tried at least twenty times to get through the well, chasing after her. They had fought. again. She left, but this time he was finally going to at least attempt telling her how he felt, that is until he tried to jump into the well, and realized he couldn't get through to her time.  
  
Swearing profusely he took off running. He couldn't believe it! She left him for good. He ran not stopping, until he came to a cave, and there he sat and stayed for a month.  
  
~*~  
The Next New Moon  
~*~  
  
||Memories consume  
  
Like opening the wound  
  
I'm picking me apart again  
  
You all assume  
  
I'm safe here in my room  
  
[Unless I try to start again]||  
  
He had been sitting in that cave, in the same spot for over a month now. It was the new moon, and he'd decided to end it all. It hurt too much to think about Kagome, and the fact that she left him, but it hurt even worse, for the fact that he was the reason why she left. Everyday for the past month he sat there and replayed that stupid argument over and over, much like a broken record.  
  
Eventually Miroku and Sango had found him, but when they tried to get him to leave, he wouldn't move an inch. They pleaded with him for days, but they eventually left him, and came to visit when they weren't off on terminating demons in the near by villages.  
  
It was the new moon, the perfect day to put his plan into action.  
  
|| I don't want to be the one  
  
The battles always choose  
  
'Cause inside I realize  
  
That I'm the one confused ||  
  
He just couldn't get it. Why couldn't he have told her how he felt before, it was all so confusing. He also couldn't understand how he always got himself into those kinds of situations. All he needed to do was be nice to her, and yet somehow he just couldn't.  
  
|| I don't know what's worth fighting for  
  
Or why I have to scream  
  
I don't know why I instigate  
  
And say what I don't mean ||  
  
Sometimes he just didn't know when to stop and he knew that's what his problem was. He didn't know when to shut his big mouth. He used hatred to cover his love for her, and whenever Miroku or Sango tried to help and give him advice on how to get what he felt out he confronted them with hostility. It was his damned pride.  
  
|| I don't know how I got this way  
  
I know it's not alright  
  
So I'm breaking the habit  
  
Tonight ||  
  
He didn't know what caused his pride and ego to get this big, but he knew one thing. It was getting to be too much, it was even hurting his friends. He had to end it, before he hurt them even more.  
  
|| Clutching my cure  
  
I tightly lock the door  
  
I try to catch my breath again  
  
I hurt much more  
  
Than anytime before  
  
I had no options left again ||  
  
He clutched the Tetsaiga close to him. This was his most vulnerable night. If he was going to do it, it needed to be done tonight. This was very much like the night that he had fought the final battle with Naraku. He had been desperate, Kagome had been hurt, and he had only one option left. Except this time, he wasn't fighting some powerful, evil outside force. He was fighting his inner demons. He was fighting his pride.  
  
|| I'll paint it on the walls  
  
'Cause I'm the one at fault  
  
I'll never fight again  
  
And this is how it ends ||  
  
He knew they would come to check on him in the morning so he decided to leave them a message. He slowly, methodically drew a line down his wrist with the Tetsaiga and left his message written out carefully in the sand: in blood. He poured his heart out in this final message, and when he was finished composing his final message to his friends, he grabbed the Tetsaiga, and sheathed it in his chest, right through his broken heart.  
  
|| I don't know what's worth fighting for  
  
Or why I have to scream  
  
But now I have some clarity  
  
To show you what I mean  
  
I don't know how I got this way  
  
I'll never be alright  
  
So I'm breaking the habit  
  
Breaking the Habit  
  
Tonight ||  
  
The next morning, Shippou came bounding down the path that led to the cave where Inuyasha had been wallowing in his misery to bring him the good news: Kagome was back. The sight that met him in the cave elicited a shrill, blood curdling from the young kitsune, and afterwards he promptly fainted.  
  
When Sango, Miroku, and Kagome arrived to see what had distressed to young kitsune so, they found him unconscious on the dirt floor and a message written in blood that read as follows: My friends, I leave tonight, because I cannot live with myself anymore. Kagome left because of me and I know that she'll never come back to me. I was too prideful to realize my love for her and now she's gone. Not only did I hurt her, but I hurt you guys as well. My actions have been atrocious, and I just cannot live with myself, and the fool that I am. Please be assured, that I finally broke the habit last night. I'm finally cured.  
  
As Miroku finished reading the letter aloud Kagome tore off into the woods, crying for her lost love. Sango tried to go after her but it was too late. They couldn't find her and with Shippou incapacitated there was no way to find her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~ ahh finally done, I've been working on this for three days simply because I've been suffering from such bad writer's block! Hope ya'll like it! ^_~ sayonara! 


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